Honesty Time: Are You Becoming a “Bridezilla?”
“BRIDEZILLAS are a new breed of soon-to-wed women who abuse the idea that weddings are their ‘day.’ They TERRORIZE their bridal party and family members, make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette, to insure that they are the single most important person on the planet from the time they are engaged to the time they are married.”
Frankly, as every wedding vendor knows all too well, it’s impossible to be in the industry without occasionally running up against one of these monsters…and, lucky us…this week was OUR week!
In our 12 years as Seattle Wedding Officiants, we know all too well, how easy it is for everyone to get so emotionally invested in the big day that if things don’t go perfectly (and let’s face it, they rarely do), it can create frustration, disappointment and even some anger. This is why we always bend over backwards to ensure the couple comes away happy, whether or not things go exactly as planned. We never forget who, and what we’re working for!
The Bridezilla, however, is a breed apart from other humans…by design. She comes to the process already hugely angry about something, usually some slight or insult, either real or (more likely) perceived. Every small setback, every minor inconvenience or innocent misstep, whether real or imagined, will just give her another reason to be furious.
Rather than taking it in stride, staying flexible and retaining her sense of humor (the “adult” approach), she responds to these perceived “indignities” like a spoiled child, with rude, thoughtless, condescending or bullying behavior toward whoever is unlucky enough to be in her field of vision at the moment. She goes out of her way to have a miserable time, and seems determined to make sure everyone else does, as well.
We learned over the years that such childish treatment is much more about the Bridezilla, and her frustrations, insecurities and emotional immaturity, than about those she abuses. And, while it’s always regrettable when things don’t go perfectly, no vendor who knows they’ve done their best takes it personally.
Sadly, the person who ultimately loses is the Bridezilla, herself, by draining all of the spontaneity, joy and fun out of what should be one of the happiest days of her life.
So…that said, what about you? Are you morphing into a Bridezilla?”
Nobody ever thinks so. After all, you just don’t fit into the stereotypical, frothing at the mouth, fighting with the bridesmaids “Diva” mold. Or do you?
Wedding planning is challenging, and stress can make it worse. It can change even the calmest bride into a raging, self-obsessed monster!
See if any of these ring a bell. If they do, you might want to take a step back, fix a drink, and let your fiancé work on the wedding plans for awhile.
1. You feel angry with everyone. Everyone is annoying you. It’s your special day not theirs, surely they ought to be grateful to even be involved?! Why can’t they just do exactly what you say?
2. Your wedding invitations are militant checklists. No children, no slip-on shoes, no heavy make-up, no short skirts, etc., etc. ad nauseum! Buy gifts from Registry only. And no-one must wear black, white, or anything bright. Why do they argue, when you’re so reasonable?
3. You request NO BOXED GIFTS in all caps on the invitations. Nobody needs the 80 sets of table mats you’re sure to receive if you don’t provide a gift list. Sure, some of your guests might want to give you something personal and meaningful. Others might be struggling financially. Well, too bad for them!
4. Your budget is way out of control. Bridal magazines are deadly. You hadn’t even heard about chair sashes before you got engaged and now you’re spending $400 on them! You need seven courses for the sit-down meal. And that designer wedding dress just felt right didn’t it? Oh well, that’s why there’s VISA!
5. You start to resent your guests for how much they’re “costing” you. Why isn’t everyone GRATEFUL that you’re throwing this massive expensive party FOR THEM?! They’re acting like you should be GRATEFUL that they’re prepared to come all that way to spend the day in uncomfortable shoes grinning at near-strangers or something just to make you happy!
6. You’ve chosen a ridiculously expensive venue. On another planet. Whatever, it’s your wedding right? It sucks that your less well-off friends can’t afford the travel and accommodation. If they really loved you, they’d CANCEL THEIR HOLIDAYS OR GO BANKRUPT for you!
7. You’ve fallen out with your bridesmaids. Sarah is too fat for the dresses you really liked thanks to her stupid thyroid. Laura can’t afford them anyway because she didn’t get that second job you advised her to get. They’re not responding to your hourly emails. No-one has offered to cover your airfare and accommodation at your three-week honeymoon in the Bahamas and they’re generally just being unsupportive DORKS!
8. Your wedding has become the event of the year…for EVERYONE! Expectations are extremely high, because it’s all you talk about. You keep adding more and more bling, entertainment and special touches. DJ? Kanye! Venue? Westminster Abbey! Bridesmaids’ gifts? Diamonds, of course!
Are you starting to get the picture? Time to be honest with yourself. If any of these apply to you, or even if they just sound like something you’d consider doing, you need to re-evaluate your priorities. Wedding planning should be joyful, imaginative, fulfilling, and above all…fun!
