Summer Weddings – Beat the heat!

Nothing evokes a festive mood like triple-digit temps and man-eating mosquitoes!

Your wedding planning may have you worrying about the elements, but there are lots of strategies for surviving warm weather weddings without feeling like you’re stuck in the Sahara.

What to Wear

In hot and humid temperatures, walking the line between overheating and looking inappropriate is tricky. Your best bet is to err on the side of caution, says the author of over thirty wedding books.

“Even at an outdoor wedding, guests should try to adhere to the wedding formality dress rules,” she says.

This means women should wear formal or semi-formal dresses, but can opt for lightweight fabrics, like linen or silk chiffon, and breezier cuts, like Grecian-style “goddess” silhouettes. At minimum, men should wear a button-down shirt and tie with suit pants, but can remove the jacket and tie for comfort.

Plus, it never hurts to check with the newlyweds-to-be. “Guests can absolutely call or e-mail the bride and groom to ask about the dress code,” she adds.

If you’re like one gentleman, who served as best man in a beach side summer wedding a few years ago, just take a cue from the couple. “I was in a full tux, but everyone in the wedding party — including the bride and groom — was barefoot, so I went sans socks and shoes and wore the legs of my trousers rolled,” he says.

In theory, an outdoor wedding on the lake sounds like a romantic moment. In reality, the guests can be eaten alive by insects long before the cake is cut.

Outdoor Obstacles

Luckily, there’s a more subtle way to take care of the problem than lugging along an economy-size citronella candle. Take preventative measures by covering exposed skin with a bug deterrent that contains eucalyptus oil or lemongrass oil, which are natural bug repellents.

Also, make sure to wear sunscreen, as having red, burned skin at the reception is sure to make you even more miserable!

Airborne allergens pose another potential pitfall. If your allergies are severe, check with your doctor. To deal with runny noses, take along a handkerchief or a pack of travel tissues.

Beating the Heat

Tissues and handkerchiefs also can combat the inevitable perspiring that comes with high temperatures. One best man was fighting to stay on his two feet in the 95-degree heat of a stiflingly hot church that lacked air conditioning.

“It wasn’t so bad when we were sitting in the back before the service, but once we were standing up front, it was like a Swedish sauna — without the jump in the snow afterwards,” he remembers. “We had no programs, no fans, and we couldn’t take off our jackets or ties.”

This savvy participant was wise enough to grab a paper towel from the bathroom before the ceremony, but when that no longer worked it was all he could do to stay conscious. “Luckily, one of the bridesmaids went down before I did,” he laughs. “Kind of took the pressure off.”

After the ceremony, drink iced liquids, drench your face with cold water and change out of dampened clothes if you can. Hopefully, and most likely, the reception will be more casual and you can take off your jacket and tie. You might even get to enjoy some air-conditioning!

All you need is love…right? Maybe not

Researchers in Australia may have figured out what it takes to keep a couple together…and it’s a lot more than just being in love.

A couple’s age, previous relationships, even whether they smoke or not, all have an influence on whether or not their marriage will last, according to a recent Australian study on marriage longevity.

The study, called “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” followed over 2,000 couples who were either married or living together, for six years from 2001 to 2007, to identify factors associated with those who stayed together, compared with those who divorced or separated.

Among the things they discovered: a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get a divorce. This also applies to husbands who marry before age 25.

Children definitely influence the longevity of a marriage. One-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage — either from a previous relationship, or in the same relationship — end up separating, compared to just 9% of those couples who have no children until after they marry.

Women who want children significantly more than their partners are also more likely to divorce.

The in-laws also have a role to play in a couple’s relationship. The study showed that 16% of men and women whose parents separated or divorced experienced marital difficulties themselves, compared to just 10% for couples whose parents stayed together, happily or not.

Couples in which one or both spouses are on their second or third marriage are 90% more likely to separate than couples who are both in their first marriage.

Not surprisingly, money also has an effect. Up to 16% of those who indicated they were poor, or that the husband (but not the wife) was unemployed, separated, compared with only 9% of couples in relatively good financial shape.

Surprisingly, couples in which only one partner is a smoker are also more likely to have the relationship end in failure.

The factors that the study found do not significantly increase separation risk included: the number and age of children born to a married couple, the wife’s employment status and the number of years the couple had been employed.

The study was jointly written by researchers from The Australian National University, and the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.

Make Room for Doggy! Including Pets in your Wedding

It’s no surprise that many couples want to include their pets in their weddings. What’s cuter than a dog in a tuxedo (even if that is considered animal cruelty by some :-)

“A pet plays an important role in a couple’s life and for many pet parents, family festivities would not be complete without their pet’s involvement,” said John D’Ariano, President of the National Association of Professional Pet Sitters (NAPPS). “As a result, it’s becoming more common for couples to customize their wedding parties to include family, friends, and furry companions.”

If you’ve decided to include your pet, you should take a few precautions. Here are some tips on how to keep both you and your pet safe and happy during the wedding festivities.

Consider Your Pet’s Personality

A pet can be a guest of honor and simply stand with the wedding party during the ceremony, or your pet can have a specific role (ring bearer or flower girl are common roles) in the ceremony. But before giving your pet a starring role, think about whether this will be an enjoyable experience for him. Will your pet feel comfortable around your guests? Is he obedient and well behaved? There’s no guarantee that your pet will behave exactly how you want him to on the day of the wedding. Even the most outgoing and friendly pet can be overwhelmed by a crowd of guests, according to NAPPS.

To make sure that your pet has enough time to develop a level of comfort around your guests, consider hiring a pet sitter, who will act as your pet’s guide. And if your pet is especially skittish, consider having someone carry him or letting him ride in a wagon. And if he’s overly affectionate or easily distracted, be sure to use a short leash.

Make Sure Pets are Allowed

You don’t want to show up on the day of your wedding, doggy ring-bearer in tow, only to be told that he needs to get off the property right now! Can’t bring your pet? You can still include her in the wedding (see below)!

Include Daisy in the After-Wedding Photos

Or in your engagement photos! At the reception, include photos of your pet on your table number cards, or make your wedding favors in tribute to your beloved pooch.

Don’t Sacrifice Safety for Style

Planning on dressing your pooch in a tux? Make sure it fits properly and doesn’t create any discomfort for your pet. Keep the accessories simple—a bowtie or flower attached to the collar is a fun way to deck out your pet. Ensure that any accessories can’t come loose and pose a choking hazard to your pet. Be sure none of the flowers or plants at your wedding are toxic to your pet.

Let the Guests Know

This is important! Include this information on your wedding website (and even in your invitations) so anyone with allergies (or animal phobias) can plan accordingly.

Inform Your Photographer

This will help your photographer prepare for those unplanned moments, like when Tiger leaps up to kiss you in the middle of reciting your vows. Your photographer can also help you compose some fun photo ideas with your pets for after the ceremony.

Designate (or Delegate) a Pet Sitter

Don’t add to your worries on the day of your wedding. Hire a pet sitter (or shanghai an idle friend or relative) to be responsible for getting your pet to the ceremony, getting her home afterwards, and watching her during the reception. You don’t need to worry about who’s feeding the dog (or keeping him away from the chocolate).

Cats and Dogs Aren’t the Only Pets You Can Include!

Love your horse? Ride into the ceremony on her, or, head over to the stables after the ceremony for some photos. Bring your bunny for some pretty bridal portraits. Have a pet owl? How about training him to fly in with the rings tied to his leg?

Ceremony of the Rose (The First Gift)

Couples may choose to add a Rose Ceremony to honor their mothers, and thank them for raising the couple and bringing them to this joyous occasion. The Rose Ceremony can also be incorporated as a Remembrance.  Brides may place a rose on a chair for their mother (or the groom’s mother) if either have passed away. Even though this may be difficult, it is an elegant and dignified way to honor a beloved family member, now departed.

Version 1

The Ceremony of the Rose symbolizes the merging of the Bride’s and Groom’s families. When the Bride enters, she has in her possession two roses, usually red. As she approaches the altar, the Bride will stop and offer a rose and a kiss to her mother or significant mother figure. In doing this, she is expressing her gratitude for preparing her for this moment and for receiving the man she is about to marry into her family.

When the wedding ceremony has ended and she and the Groom exit, the Bride will stop and offer a rose and a kiss to the Groom’s mother or significant maternal figure. In doing this, she is expressing her gratitude for preparing her new husband for this moment and for receiving her into the Groom’s family. A variation you may consider is to present both roses either upon the entrance or upon the exit.

Version 2

(The Officiant says): Groom and Bride have chosen to give each other a rose which is their first gift as husband and wife.

(At this time, the Officiant will give both the Bride and the Groom a rose, and they, in turn, will present their rose to each other.)

This rose was born of the tiniest of seeds and has blossomed into the beautiful flower that it is today. And so it is with your relationship. It began as a small feeling that grew and eventually blossomed into something beautiful.

And now you stand before us today to make a commitment to each other as husband and wife. Since you know that love must be shared, it is your desire to share these first gifts with two very special people, two people who helped to prepare you for this moment and molded you into the individuals that you are today.

The Bride and Groom turn and present their roses to their mothers or significant mother figures and offer a hug or a kiss.

Version 3

(The Officiant says): Today you will receive the most honorable titles that exist between a man and a woman—the titles of husband and wife. You have chosen to give each other a rose as your first gift. In the language of flowers, the rose was considered a symbol of love, and a single rose meant only one thing: “I love you.” So it is appropriate that your first gift to each other as husband and wife will be a single rose. Please exchange your gifts.

(The Bride and Groom present each other with a rose.)

Groom and Bride, because you both have given and received this symbol of love, I would encourage you to choose one very special place in your home for roses. Then on each anniversary, you both may take a rose to that special place as a recommitment to your marriage, and express with this symbol that your marriage is a marriage based on love.

In every marriage, there are times when it is difficult to verbalize certain feelings. Sometimes, we hurt those whom we love most, then find it difficult to say, “I’m sorry,” “Please forgive me,” or “I need you.”

When you simply cannot find these words, leave a rose at your specially chosen place, and let that rose say what matters most—”I still love you.” The other should accept this rose for the words that cannot be found, and remember that the unspoken love is the hope you share and the faith you have in your future together as husband and wife.

The Rose Ceremony is simple yet profoundly moving. The bride and groom exchange two red roses, symbolizing the giving and receiving of their love for each other throughout their entire married life. The Rose Ceremony also conveys how to use the rose and its symbolism in difficult times in order to forgive each other

La Biblia, las Arras, y el Lazo (a Hispanic Tradition)

The Bible, Coins, and Cord (La Biblia, las Arras, y el Lazo) are Hispanic traditions most often associated with Mexican weddings, although Spain, the Philippines and other Latin American countries use variations of these, as well. They are symbolic of the spiritual, physical, and emotional elements in a marriage

The Bible symbolizes the religious guidance and wise counsel for life’s decisions—the spiritual element. The thirteen coins represent the financial support and blessings for their home—the physical element. The cord signifies the union of their lives and hearts as one common destiny—the emotional element.

Bible (la Biblia)—Spiritual

After the Bride and Groom exchange their vows and rings, Sponsors, or Padrinos, bring forth a white Bible and a Rosary and place it in the hands of the Bride and Groom.

While they are holding it, the Officiant will bless the Bible, after which the Sponsors take the Bible and Rosary and sit back down.

Coins (las Arras)—Physical

The Coin Sponsors bring forth the box of coins and empty it into the Groom’s hands.

The thirteen coins are a symbol of the care that the Bride and Groom will give in order for their home to have everything it needs. The coins also are a sign of the blessings of God and all the good things they will share together.

The Officiant blesses the coins. The Groom drops the coins into the Bride’s hands and says a short vow promising to provide for the family’s needs.

The Bride responds, accepting the Groom’s gift of dedication, and promising that everything provided will be used with care for the benefit of their home and family. The Sponsors then take the coins and sit down.

Cord and Veil Ceremony – Emotional

In Filipino wedding tradition, the Cord and Veil ceremony is usually done at the end of the wedding, after the couple has been pronounced husband and wife.

The veil symbolizes living under God’s protection and being clothed as one. The Veil Sponsors, usually a male and female from each side of the family, place a white veil over the shoulders of the couple, who are traditionally kneeling.

The Officiant explains the significance of the veil, after which it is removed by the Veil Sponsors.

Finally, the Cord Sponsors place the cord in a figure eight around the shoulders of the kneeling Bride and Groom. The Officiant blesses their union, after which the Cord Sponsors remove the cord and sit down.

Forever, Together is pleased to offer this elegant wedding tradition, in both English and Spanish, at no additional cost.

The Blessing Stones (Wishing Stones)

The ritual of the Blessing Stones, or Wishing Stones, as they sometimes are called, is a wonderful way to include everyone in the wedding by way of offering blessings and good wishes to the newlyweds. It also is a good way to ensure that everyone will make contact with the Bride and Groom at some point during the day. This ritual may be performed at the actual ceremony itself (before the blessing), or at the conclusion of the service (in a receiving line manner), or later at the reception.

When the guests arrive at the ceremony, they are given a Stone along with a note card with words printed on it such as: `”My wish for you is…”, “May you be blessed with..” or “May God bless you with…”

During the ceremony, the Officiant explains the significance of the Blessing Stones.

(The Officiant says): Today is a very blessed occasion in the lives of (Groom) and (Bride). You have been invited here today because of your special relationship with them. When you arrived, you received a stone along with a note card. These are called “Blessing Stones.”

Since we all desire nothing but the best that life has to offer this couple, I ask each of you to complete the sentence on the card and sign your name, so your best wishes and your blessings for (Groom) and (Bride) always may be a reminder of your love for them on this day of celebration.

At some point (either during or after the service), the guests will share their blessing or wish with the newlyweds and toss the Blessing Stone into a Blessing Bowl, a Wishing Well, a Fountain, or whatever is chosen to hold the water. They then may place their “love note” into a basket or box for the couple to reflect on at a later time. Many couples keep their Blessing Stones in a special place in their home (a vase of flowers, around a candle, in an aquarium, etc.) to remind them of all the love, good wishes, and blessings they share because of their family and friends.

A variation of this ritual would be at an outdoor wedding near a body of water (lake, pond, ocean, etc.). Stones either are gathered at the site or provided for the guests. After the ceremony, everyone follows the Bride and Groom’s recessional to the water, makes a wish or blessing for them and casts their stone into the water.

(The Officiant says): The ripples that are made in the water represent the love and good wishes not only for this couple, but for all the world. For as our ripples cross and recross one another’s, so our love and good wishes touch and retouch all those around us and all those with whom we come into contact throughout our lives. (This also may be said at the indoor ceremony).

You can be as creative as you want with this ritual. Here are some ideas:

  • Stones—you may use decorative stones, rose quartz stones, which symbolize love, or other pebbles from a special place.
  • Container for water—you will need a Blessing Bowl (any decorative basin, bowl, or bucket will work), or a table top fountain, or a Wishing Well (as large and elaborate or as small and simple as you wish).
  • Love Notes—buy decorative, ready-made note cards from a stationery or craft store and print your opening blessing phrase on them, or, for an even more personal touch, design and print your own note cards at home on your computer. Remember to begin your blessing phrase with: `My wish for you is…” or `May you be blessed with…” or `May God bless you with…”

Lesser Known, but No Less Beloved Wedding Traditions

Most couples in the process of planning their wedding ceremonies become familiar with the “Big Three” wedding traditions: The Unity Candle, the Handfasting, and the Blending of the Sands. Each of these is a unique, elegant wedding ritual that can make your ceremony more colorful, more inclusive and a lot more fun. There’s absolutely no down-side to using any (or all!) of these beautiful traditions in your wedding, and Forever, Together is proud, and pleased to offer these wonderful wedding traditions (as well as the ones below) at no extra charge!

However, the world is full of different countries and different cultures, each with their own special version of the marriage ceremony. Over the next couple of posts, I’d like to describe some of the lesser known (in the United States, at least), but no less exotic and interesting marriage rituals you might consider adding to your wedding ceremony.

The Marriage Vessel and the Rose

The Marriage Vessel and the Rose ceremony may be used as an alternative to the Unity Candle, especially for outdoor weddings. You will need a table for the vessel and the rose. Filling the vessel with water is only necessary if you use the second version. The Officiant begins by explaining the significance of the ceremony.

(The Officiant says): (Groom) and (Bride) have chosen to share two gifts, the Marriage Vessel and the Rose, to symbolize their ever-growing life-long commitment to each other.

The spiritual roots of the Marriage Vessel and the Rose grow out of an understanding of God as the Potter, or Creator of life (holding up the vessel), and God as the Gardener, or Sustainer of life (holding up the rose).

The vessel of clay, lovingly shaped by the Potter, is a symbol of love’s strength and endurance. The miracle of the vessel is that it not only protects, but is enriched by that which it holds, the rose. Like-wise, the rose, born of the tiniest of seeds, symbolizes the beauty and potential of growing in love throughout life together. Both the vessel and the rose are individually unique, yet when combined, they create an object of even greater beauty.

(The Groom presents the rose to the Bride and says): (Bride), this rose represents the beauty I see in you. / I thank you for the person you are / and the person I am becoming / because of your love for me.

(The Bride presents the vessel to the Groom and says): (Groom), this vessel represents the strength I see in you. / I thank you for the love and care you have given me, / and for all we will share together in this life.

(The Bride then places the rose in the vessel; they hold it together and the Bride and Groom say): As our gifts bring beauty and purpose to each other, / may our lives continue to enrich and strengthen one another.

(The Officiant says): (Groom) and (Bride), as you share each passing day, and as your days become years, remember this tradition you have created. On each wedding anniversary, place one additional rose in the marriage vessel to symbolize your ever-growing love for one another. May The Marriage Vessel and the Rose always be a symbol of the beauty and strength you bring to each other’s lives.

(The Officiant says): Just as (Groom) and (Bride) gave each other rings as symbols of their love and commitment to one another, they also would like to present [each of] you with a gift as a symbol of their love and commitment to you. The Family Medallion is made up of three intertwining circles, two of which symbolize the union of this man and woman in marriage. The third circle represents the joining of children to this union, making it complete as we celebrate the new family created here today.

(The Bride and Groom present the children with the Family Medallion, and give each child a hug and a kiss.)

The Unity Cup

Two separate goblets are filled with wine. Before the couple is pronounced husband and wife, the Officiant pours one-half of the wine from each goblet into a separate cup, the Unity Cup, from which each sips.

(The Officiant says): This glass of wine is known as the Unity Cup, or Kiddush Cup, and is symbolic of the Cup of Life. As you share this cup of wine, you share all that the future may bring. The half-filled goblets are a reminder of your individuality; the single cup marks your new life together. As you share the wine from a single cup, so may you, under God’s guidance, share contentment, peace, and fulfillment from your own Cup of Life.

May you find life’s joys heightened, its bitterness sweetened, and each of its moments hallowed by true companionship and love.

(The Officiant holds up the Unity Cup and may then say this prayer): Blessed are Thou, 0 Lord our God, Creator of the fruit of the vine.

(The Groom takes a sip of wine first, then offers the cup to the Bride.)

Breaking of the Glass

The Breaking of the Glass is a Jewish tradition, but lately appearing in more and more non-Jewish and Interfaith ceremonies. It has many meanings. One is as a symbol of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, a representation of the fragility of relationships, and a reminder that marriage changes the lives of individuals forever.

After the couple is pronounced husband and wife, the glass, or light bulb, which usually is wrapped in a cloth and placed in a silk bag, is then laid by the groom’s foot.

(The Officiant says): We conclude this ceremony with the Breaking of the Glass. Traditionally, the Breaking of the Glass at a wedding is a symbolic prayer and hope that your love for one another will remain until the pieces of the glass come together again, or in other words, that your love will last forever.

The fragile nature of the glass also suggests the frailty of human relationships. Even the strongest of relationships is subject to disintegration. The glass then, is broken to “protect” the marriage with this implied prayer: May your bond of love be as difficult to break as it would be to put together again the pieces of this glass.

The groom then breaks the glass with his foot and everyone shouts “Mazel Tov!” which means “Good luck and congratulations!”

The Five Most Useful Things We’ve Learned from Performing Weddings

Every now and then, a curious soul asks us what we’ve learned as Seattle wedding Officiants performing nearly 1000 weddings in Western Washington over the past eight years. We usually give our “tried-and-true” answer about how nothing ever goes exactly as planned and everyone has to be flexible and willing to have a good time, no matter what happens.

This generally satisfies the questioner, and until now we haven’t really been inclined to go into much detail. However, in the interest of expanding the boundaries of knowledge, and in celebration of entering our eighth year in the business, we have decided to publish, herein, our list of the five most useful things we’ve learned from performing weddings.

These are not listed in any particular order of importance – we think they’re all pretty important. They’re also not the only lessons we’ve learned, just the top five we regularly fall back on. We also think that you, as a bride and/or groom, wouldn’t do too badly to remember them for your own use – what’s good for the Officiant is often good for the couple. These tidbits have made our professional lives more interesting, less frustrating, and a lot more fun. The bottom line: Learn to take everything with a grain of salt. Hey, come to think of it, that could be tidbit #6!

Here goes:

  1. Be flexible. Perfection is unlikely, and we all know about the “best laid plans.” Our ability to respond quickly (and positively) to the unexpected has often gone a long way towards assuring a successful event for the couple.
  2. Keep your cool. Before the ceremony, we try to think of ourselves as “an island of calm in a sea of chaos,” providing a safe harbor for anyone in the Bridal Party who thinks they’re starting to “freak out.”
  3. Don’t lose your sense of humor. If these lessons were listed in order of importance, this would have to be close to the top. Anything that goes sideways now will almost certainly seem pretty funny in retrospect, so why wait? Laugh about it now, and get on with the festivities!
  4. Be prepared. In retrospect, this seems like a no-brainer, but in the beginning, it wasn’t unusual for one of us to leave out a paragraph, stumble on a sentence, mispronounce names and, in my case, forget to seat the audience until three-fourths of the ceremony was done! That most of these things don’t happen anymore is a testament to our practice of carefully learning the ceremony ahead of time, knowing as much as possible about the couple…and diligently employing items 1-3 on this list!
  5. Remember who you work for! We’ve learned this is critical, and what seems to set us apart from other wedding vendors, at least in the minds of the couples who ultimately choose us. We never forget that our function is to do a specific job, and do it perfectly. We were not hired by the couple to be their friends. Sometimes, if we’re very lucky, we get to do both…but if it comes down to a choice, we always consider ourselves “hired hands,” and we never forget who hired us.

Of course, we’ve learned a lot of other things over the past eight years, and eventually I’ll probably update this list as we learn more. For now, it’s still our goal to offer the best possible service to a couple and validate the faith and trust they place in us by allowing us to be a part of such a joyful, intimate and special day.

10 Reasons to Have a Destination Wedding

Reprinted from The Huffington Post

Still undecided on whether or not you should plan a destination wedding? Here are 10 reasons to take the plunge from the editors of Destination Weddings & Honeymoons magazine.

At some point in the planning process, every engaged couple entertains the idea of having a destination wedding — after all, who doesn’t get excited at the prospect of going somewhere gorgeous and unique to exchange vows? But at the same time, it can be daunting — can you actually pull off a destination do? Will your loved ones be supportive? If you find yourselves debating “should we or shouldn’t we?” or needing to convince some VIGs (very important guests) to embrace your decision, we’re here to help. Here are 10 fantastic reasons to take your big day on the road.

  1. You can say “I do” anywhere! A destination wedding is defined as marrying at least 100 miles from where the bride currently lives. So imagine the options that definition opens up for you — the world really is your playground.
  2. You’ll stand out from the pack. More than 2 million American couples wed every year — and fewer than 25 percent of them have destination dos. Bonus: Wed away, and you won’t have to choose from the same old hometown spots all your friends have booked.
  3. It’s easier. Many wedding-worthy resorts offer free planning help to couples, whether the event is for two or 200, and an abundance of packages keep things simple while still giving options to customize. Want something more involved? Turn to an independent planner who specializes in more elaborate events.
  4. You can save on decor. With a destination wedding in a stunning setting, your location of choice supplies the theme, from castle fairytale, to sea-inspired soiree. And when you choose an amazing backdrop, it doesn’t take much to dress it up. Opt for a pristine beach, a tidy vineyard, a blooming garden or a historic plantation house furnished with graceful antiques, and you’ll be more than covered with a few simple florals and other modest accents.
  5. Enjoy quality time with loved ones. The standard wedding lasts for five hours, and the bride and groom spend most of that time running from table to table, trying to say hello to everyone. A destination do spans a minimum of three days — which means, now that you’ve finally gotten your nearest and dearest together, you can actually spend quality time with them! Hooray!
  6. It’s a great excuse to limit the guest list. The very nature of destination weddings — they require travel, a longer time commitment and hotel stays — gives you the perfect excuse to cut down on an often unmanageable number of invitees. Think the second cousins and office mates will be miffed? You can always throw a post wedding party — complete with plenty of photos — when you get back home.
  7. Guests can save on a vacation. Ask your host hotel about discounted room rates for your guests; most resorts are more than willing to bargain in exchange for group business. Some airlines, such as United and American, offer discounted airfares for groups of 10 of more — on the latter, this is true even if your guests are departing from different gateways. And ultimately, your friends will have a blast! Destination weddings give friends and family that most valuable commodity: downtime — to kick back, connect and celebrate. And what’s more fun than that?
  8. You’ll share a locale you love. Part of the joy of a destination wedding is showing off a place that has special meaning to you, be it bringing friends and family back to a beloved college campus, sharing where you took your first vacation as a couple or finally going to a locale you’ve always dreamed of visiting.
  9. Flexible timing helps with budgeting. You’ll be at your destination for a few days, so work with your vendors to see how timing can trim costs. After all, if everyone is already there, you can wed on a Friday, a Sunday or even a Tuesday — what does the day of the week matter in paradise? Look at seasonality too. Many Caribbean hotels drop their prices dramatically in mid-April; by planning your wedding for May, you can get the same great digs for a fraction of the price paid by visitors a few weeks earlier. Likewise, mountain resort towns offer big savings in spring and fall.
  10. You can start the honeymoon early. Just arriving at your destination is sure to put you in a relaxed mood as the pre-wedding festivities begin. Many hotels offer automatic upgrades to the bride and groom on their wedding night, and you may be able to negotiate an extended mini moon at a reduced rate after the guests have gone home.

When the Unexpected Happens

“To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect.” – Oscar Wilde

Although we can never say for sure what will happen during a wedding, one thing we know for sure: the wedding will not go totally according to your plans. There’s a lot to keep track of and a lot to coordinate, so what actually happens will depend upon the input of vendors, guests, the weather, and what you have planned.

You can’t control the weather, keep the kids in their seats or stop the bar from running out of Jack Daniels, you can control how you react to anything that happens on your Big Day.

The trick to getting past the inevitable “speed bumps” you’re bound to encounter is to just relax and tell yourself to have a wonderful day…no matter what happens!

Here are some suggestions for how to have a great time no matter who does what at your wedding:

Expect the Unexpected: There will almost certainly be surprises and not all of them will be the delightful kind. Decide ahead of time that nobody is going to ruin your day.

Keep your sense of humor: The difference between having a good time at your wedding and having a lousy time is simple. When something goes south, you can either laugh…or scream. It’s totally up to you. Personally, I’d choose to laugh, and you should, too.  Remember, no matter how catastrophic something feels to you at the time, in the great cosmic Scheme of Things, it’s small potatoes.

Keep it together: Some brides think that by demanding their way they’re more likely to get it. In reality, rather than moving these demands to the top of their list, a more typical response of any vendor who has to deal with Bridezilla is to drop them to the bottom. Remember, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!

Don’t lose perspective: If the roses are the wrong color or the tablecloths don’t match the centerpieces, it’s unlikely anyone else will notice. If you fly off the handle at every inconvenience or panic because something went slightly out-of-sync, then you can be sure pretty much everyone will notice!

Remember why you’re there: A wedding is a celebration! You and your partner have found each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together. When all is said and done, that’s what matters. Be joyful and make that joy contagious! A blissful bride never looks bad in the photos!

Be appreciative: When a vendor earns your gratitude, let them know it. Most wedding vendors really want you to have a wonderful wedding and will go out of their way to make sure that happens. Give credit to the vendors whose service was over and above, and use online reviews to warn future couples about any vendors who fell short. You can have the last word without ruining the mood of your wedding day.

A wedding does take planning and there’s no reason not to plan everything you can. Just remember that a plan is just a guideline, a road map through the day, and as with any trip, there may be unexpected detours and side roads you didn’t anticipate. In the end, the destination is the same, and that’s the bottom line. You’ll arrive in much better spirits if you can learn to sit back, be flexible, laugh at the bumps…and just generally enjoy the ride.